Slowing Down

For those of you that know me well enough, you know that most of the time I only have one gear and that is “go”.  My motto for most of my life has been, “I will get enough sleep when I’m dead.”  The fact of the matter is, I don’t know how to slow down.  I will always have one gear, and it will always be set on “go.”  I mean, let’s be real here, my “downtime” is spent in one of two ways: 1) either I am running/starting a new business or 2) I am working outside (farming, gardening, or some other such thing.)

My time and energy is devoted to so many things, I almost need a personal assistant to just keep my head on straight, lol.

But, as much as my gear is stuck in “go”, I am also a realist.  It took a long time for me to realize that I can’t do everything, all the time.  Ok, being honest here… I still suck at this, horribly.  Let’s just say I have a “Superman” complex.  You know… able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, etc, etc, etc.  I’m not perfect, by any stretch of the means (and I’m definitely not Superman), but I’m always the one to get the job done.

Oh yeah, and my other motto is, “If you want it done right (or at least how you want it done), do it yourself.”

When I was younger, I believed I would never live to see much past 40, and I lived my life that way too.  I spent quite a bit of time partying, drinking, smoking, fighting… you name it.  I have fought addictions to booze, mixed sleep aids with alcohol, fought hallucinations and talked with ghosts of people that were long dead.  I suffer from PTSD.  There are things that I’ve done that I am proud of, and things I’ve done that I am not so proud of.  All of that, and yet, I am still standing.  I’m still stuck in “go”.

Maybe I am stuck in “go” because of all that, or maybe it is my genetic imprint, who knows?

Now, here I am, every year I grow closer and closer to being in my mid-40’s.  I have children and two grandchildren.  I will always still try to do everything… all the time… but I have to realize that I need to do it at my own pace.  I have to realize that nothing is so important, that it can’t wait just a little bit longer to get done.  I have to realize that work can wait until tomorrow, after all, it will still be there.  Don’t get me wrong, it is still a struggle not to try and fit everything in… but I am working on it… a little more each day.

Just like work, this blog will be here tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day… so on and so forth.  I have a tendency to write quick, I don’t edit…ever.  What is posted by me, is an initial dump, from my mind to the screen, to the “Publish” button.  But, now, as I’m sure you have noticed, the time has come to slow down some.

I will still be posting on this blog and have no intention on pulling it down, like I have other blogs in the past.  However, for right now, I am just going to be reading and commenting.  When the inspiration strikes, I will write some more.  Right now, I need to work through several things.  I need to slow down, to breathe, and see what happens.

Thank you for listening (reading) to my carrying on, and thank you for the encouragement and support that I receive from fellow readers/writers/bloggers.

©AC Elliott, 18-Jan-18

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7 Days, 7 Black & White Photos – Day 4

Even though I haven’t posted pictures on this blog very much and I don’t usually partake in “awards”, etc., this looked like something fun to do. So, I figured…why not?

I was nominated by Caribou Crossings.

The pictures are to contain no people and no explanations. Also, I’m supposed to nominate some new each day. However, I am going to leave that open for anyone that wants to take part in it.

~~~~
AC Elliott, 7-Dec-17

7 Days, 7 Black & White Photos – Day 3

Even though I haven’t posted pictures on this blog very much and I don’t usually partake in “awards”, etc., this looked like something fun to do. So, I figured…why not?

I was nominated by Caribou Crossings.

The pictures are to contain no people and no explanations. Also, I’m supposed to nominate some new each day. However, I am going to leave that open for anyone that wants to take part in it.

~~~~
AC Elliott, 6-Dec-17

7 Days, 7 Black & White Photos – Day 2

Even though I haven’t posted pictures on this blog very much and I don’t usually partake in “awards”, etc., this looked like something fun to do. So, I figured…why not?

I was nominated by Caribou Crossings.

The pictures are to contain no people and no explanations. Also, I’m supposed to nominate some new each day. However, I am going to leave that open for anyone that wants to take part in it.

~~~~
AC Elliott, 5-Dec-17

7 Days, 7 Black & White Photos – Day 1

Even though I haven’t posted pictures on this blog very much and I don’t usually partake in “awards”, etc., this looked like something fun to do. So, I figured…why not?

I was nominated by Caribou Crossings.

The pictures are to contain no people and no explanations. Also, I’m supposed to nominate some new each day. However, I am going to leave that open for anyone that wants to take part in it.

~~~~
AC Elliott, 4-Dec-17

Walking Along (The Road of Dreams)

I walk along the road of dreams
bare feet afloat on clouds and steam
that wiggle between my toes
and tickle the flesh that’s exposed

Clouds that are wisps of dreams to come
and wisps of dreams left undone
filled with hopes, wishes and desires
that haunt me in the midnight hours

If I could pluck just one and make it true
it would be the dream I shared with you.
But, alas, this is nothing but a dream
and nothing is ever what it seems

I try to avoid the dark clouds
where thunder rings, sharp and loud
But, in my path they’re firmly lodged
and there’s far too many to dodge

Interspersed in the dark is white
where relief is found from the fright
caused by nightmares that seem so real
like lightning striking my bare heels

If I could pluck just one and make it true
it would be the dream I shared with you.
But, alas, this is nothing but a dream
and nothing is ever what it seems

Precariously stepping on a ledge
my footfalls teeter on the edge
where I know not what waits below
and I’m not so sure I want to know

I look out into the unknown
of the road that I must face alone
hoping that sweet dreams will prevail
along this largely darkened trail

But, alas, this is nothing but a dream
and nothing is ever what it seems.
~~~~
© AC Elliott, 2016

Veterans Day 2017

While today is the state and federal day to observe it, tomorrow, 11 Nov 2017, is actually Veterans Day in the US.

Yesterday, over two different sessions, I stood on a stage in front of several hundred children and their parents. I stood up there to talk about Veterans Day and what it means. I stood up to make certain that the next generation has an understanding of what it means to be a Veteran, or at least these schoolchildren. The same ones that I talk to every year, refusing to allow the school not to have a Veterans Day Program, whether my son still attends there or not.

I do it because of multiple reasons, first off, I’m proud to have served my country, second, they need to know the meaning behind Veterans Day. That it is not just another day off from school and not just another three-day weekend to enjoy doing nothing. In this day and time, it would be easy for them to lose sight over the sacrifice that men and women alike have made to ensure their freedom. Especially given the rampant disrespect that so many so called “celebrities”, “role models” and politicians (both liberal and conservative alike) are showing these days.

I stood up on that stage and talked about sacrifice, and what it meant to serve my country. I talked about my family legacy stretching back as far as I could remember and what it meant to them to serve our country. It was at that point, in the first session, that I nearly lost it on stage. Why? Because as I was talking about my own father (and his brothers), in through the door comes walking my nearly 80-year old father. It was all I could do to maintain my composure, yet, maintain my composure I did.

In that instant of seeing him walk through the door, all the memories of the times that I heard him screaming in his sleep flooded through me. The aftereffects of several tours in Vietnam. In that instant, I thought of my uncle, who died slowly from his exposure to Agent Orange. In that instant, I thought of my own struggles and my own (now labeled) PTSD. Yet, at the same time, when all those thoughts were flooding me, I realized…none of us would have done anything different. None of us were drafted. It was our choice, and despite the cost or sacrifice, it was choice that each of us would gladly make again (I know this because we have discussed it several times over the years).

So, as I write this, I ask that whatever your political leanings may be, remember your freedom doesn’t come free. Remember, that someone had/has to pay the price that allows you all the rights you have now. Even the right to be disrespectful to the freedoms you take for granted. Enough about that though.

Since I will be in happy place over the weekend where I have no signal and nothing but fresh mountain air. Happy Veterans Day to all my fellow veterans.

~~~~
© AC Elliott, 10 Nov 17